It's almost that time of year again: the time where every other website insists on spoiling the latest episode of Game of Thrones before you've even made it home. We're looking at you, Sydney Morning Herald.
But even if you stay off news sites, you've still got social media to worry about: the internet is dark and full of spoilers. Fortunately, with a little bit of preparation, a few prayers to the lord of light, and a couple of handy tools, you can make Monday afternoon spoilers a thing of the past.
Use an extension to remove Game of Thrones content from the internet
If Chrome is your desktop web browser of choice, you can install an extension called GameofSpoils. This plugin will block any Game of Thrones related content on Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, Google News, YouTube, Slack, Google Plus, BuzzFeed, and Tumblr.
In addition to seeking out and destroying content that explicitly mentions Game of Thrones, GameofSpoils will also look for related terms such as locations, names of characters, and names of actors. GameofSpoils does however only target text, so you might still run the risk of a dank meme ruining your day.
The extension will only work on Chrome on the desktop, so you'll still have to be careful on your phone or tablet.
Mute Game of Thrones related phrases on Twitter
If you spend too much time on Twitter - much like myself - you might want to make use of its Mute functionality to cut down on any possible spoilers. If you're using the web client, you can find muting options under settings and privacy. There you'll find "muted accounts" and "muted words".
You can use muted accounts to hide tweets from specific users, and muted words to block phrases and hashtags - such as #GOT, #WinterIsHere, or #JonIsDeadAgain - from showing up in your feed. As with GameofSpoils, this won't necessarily help with images though.
These settings will apply to any device you where you're signed into your account.
Delete your social media apps from your phone
If you tend to use your toilet breaks to flick through Facebook, you might be best off deleting it from your phone on Monday mornings, and not reinstalling the app until you've watch the latest episode. The same goes for Instagram, Twitter, and Snapchat; if it can spread spoilers, delete it.
Deleting and reinstalling your social media apps every Monday might seem like a lot of work, but it's still a far better than that one guy revealing that Ned was alive the entire time after all. Shut up Pete. You know exactly what you’re doing.
Stream it live
If you're desperate, you can always use Foxtel Now to stream the episode as it airs (11am AEST) on your smartphone or tablet. Be sure to wear headphones and find a good hiding place. A supply closet, toilet, under your desk, or within a cabaret troupe acting out your family's deaths are all valid options. Or you know what, maybe just take lunch early.